Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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