Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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