I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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