It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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