Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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