so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
