Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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