I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
We need to feng shui this bitch.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
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