Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
