Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize