It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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