i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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