this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize