Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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