let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
