Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
