You're my little dorito
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Randomize
