This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
