Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
