We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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