And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
