We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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