I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
