id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
