...so i touched it.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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