the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
