i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Randomize