Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
