Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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