just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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