Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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