I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
