he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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