maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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