If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
