I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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