He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
you win again, gameday.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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