there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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