i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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