is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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