I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
