Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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