I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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