Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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