Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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