): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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