Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
