Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize