Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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