Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
