i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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