no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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