She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
