we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
