When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
