I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
