The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize