Im at strip club and am horny
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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