pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Can vaginas get frostbite?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
