the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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