absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize
