Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
