how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
This is my life. Enjoy the view
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
