i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
