She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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