Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
last night I used snow as a chaser
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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