How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
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